Sharon Wilkinson  ·  Author

Can You Really Be Prepared for a Loved One's Death?
They Say No. I Say Yes.

A memoir about cancer, love,
loss and the road to peace

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The Book

A Journey Through Loss — and What Lies Beyond It

Can You Really Be Prepared for a Loved One's Death?
They Say No. I Say Yes.
A memoir about cancer, love, loss and the road to peace
Sharon Wilkinson

"I hope that this book will inspire readers who are facing a similar path."

When Sharon Wilkinson's partner Jenny was diagnosed with a terminal illness, Sharon stepped fully into the role of caregiver — not with a checklist of services and systems, but with her whole heart.

The second section of the book fulfills the promise of its title, drawing on Sharon's own hard-won wisdom to offer guidance for those walking a similar path today.

What unfolded over three years was a profound lesson in partnership, communication, and the unexpected gifts that can emerge even in the deepest grief. This memoir challenges the conventional wisdom that one cannot truly prepare for a loved one's death — and offers a quiet, honest argument that with love, presence, and openness, we can.

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Reviews

What Readers Are Saying

★★★★★
Yes, you can
This true story is moving and so well written. What an incredible journey of love, bravery and strength in the face of cancer and death. These are two of our biggest fears, but after reading this book I feel we really can be prepared (before, during and after) the death of a loved one. This will resonate with so many of us, thankyou for sharing.
Kelly Atherton  ·  Verified Purchase  ·  Reviewed in Canada on July 10, 2026
★★★★★
Beautiful and very helpful
A very powerful read. It made my eyes wet on occasion. Brimming with compassion and wisdom. It's also a reminder of the strength and grace that humanity is capable of.
Sean O  ·  Verified Purchase  ·  Reviewed in Canada on July 8, 2026

About the Author

Sharon Wilkinson

Sharon Wilkinson is perhaps the last person you would expect to write a book about death.

She grew up in southern Ontario afraid of cemeteries, avoided the word cancer since the age of eight, and spent decades pushing away every thought of mortality the moment it surfaced. She worked as a medical laboratory technician, then as a realtor, raised a son, and built a full and joyful life in Victoria, British Columbia — doing her best, along the way, to outrun her fears.

She couldn't outrun them forever. And what she found when she finally stopped running changed her completely.

She is now a grandmother of two, and no longer afraid.

About This Book

Sharon wrote this memoir because she believes that preparation is not only possible — it is a profound act of love. Drawing on her experience and the wisdom of the Simonton Cancer Center's mind-body program, she discovered that peace and acceptance are not just words.

This book is for anyone who has sat beside a hospital bed, dreaded the phone ringing, or wondered how they would survive what seemed unsurvivable.

Questions

Questions People Ask

Can you really prepare for the death of a loved one?
My answer is yes. Conventional wisdom says nothing can prepare you, but after caring for my partner Jenny through a three-year terminal illness I found otherwise. Honest conversation, staying present instead of avoiding the subject, and doing the emotional work before the final weeks all made the loss survivable. Preparation does not remove the grief. It changes what the grief is made of.
What is anticipatory grief?
Anticipatory grief is the mourning that begins before the death itself, while the person you love is still alive. Caregivers often feel guilty about it, as though grieving early were a betrayal. It isn't. It is the mind beginning to absorb a loss it can already see coming — and naming it makes it easier to carry.
How do you talk to someone who is dying?
Directly, and without rehearsing it first. Most of us avoid the subject to protect the person who is ill, but that silence usually leaves them alone with it. Asking what they are afraid of, what they still want, and what they want you to know is frightening to begin — and almost always a relief for both people once it starts.
What should a caregiver do in the final weeks?
Have the practical affairs settled well beforehand, so those last weeks aren't spent on paperwork. Beyond that: be present rather than busy, accept help when it's offered, say the things that would otherwise go unsaid, and rest. Caregivers routinely stop sleeping and eating properly, and exhaustion narrows the time you have left with the person you love.
Who is this book for?
Anyone caring for someone with a terminal diagnosis. Anyone who has sat beside a hospital bed or dreaded the phone ringing. Anyone wondering how they would survive what seems unsurvivable. And it's written, too, for people who are simply frightened of death and have spent years pushing the thought away — I was one of them.
Who wrote this book?
Sharon Wilkinson, a Canadian author based in Victoria, British Columbia. I grew up in southern Ontario, worked as a medical laboratory technician and later as a realtor, and spent decades afraid of death before caring for my partner Jenny through her illness. This is my first memoir.

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Follow Sharon Wilkinson's author journey on Facebook, where she shares reflections on love, loss, and the unexpected grace that comes from walking through life's hardest seasons.

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